origami firefly
by MissingMommy
Summary: 1. Godric&Salazar 2. Parvati/Lavender 3. Unrequited!Piers/Dudley 4. Katie/Leanne 5. RemusSirius - This isn't how it was supposed to go.
1. letters never sent

Written for Camp Potter – History Appreciation: write about Salazar Slytherin. Cabin: Lupin.

Written for the Summer 2013 Wizarding Modly Forum-Wide Comp of Awesomeness.

Round: History of Magic

Option B

House: Hufflepuff

Wand: unknown

To the mods, I would like the scores for each category, please!

Word count: 1200

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Evening, September 3, 1012

Salazar,

I do not know why I am writing this when I know that I will never send it. The new school year has started again and it is the first time in a while that I have thought about you. There are new students coming from all over to attend Hogwarts; to attend the school that you helped make. It is the same school that you walked away from, yet it is so different without you.

We could have worked this out, Salazar. We could have come to an agreement that would have suited both of us, but you stormed away before we had a chance. Even if you were angry with me for disagreeing with you, walking away was never the answer.

Rowena and Helga both miss you. I miss you. Your students look at us like we did something wrong, and sometimes, I wonder if we did.

This school is just not the same without you.

Godric

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Evening, April 19, 1013

Salazar,

I am still unsure as to why I write these letters, why I write about what is going on at the school _you_ left when I do not actually send them. I think it helps me deal with the days. I think it helps me believe that you might actually come back.

But it has been eight months since you left and there is still no sign of you coming back. I think that Rowena still blames me for losing my temper. I do not blame her for thinking that way. She is right, after all; I should not have lost it. But you knew me as well as I knew you, and you should have known that my anger would have died down soon, as it always has.

Helga. She has been a Godsend. She has always been so kind, but she is especially so now that you've left. She tries to patch up the wound that you – we – caused to our friendship. However, no amount of kindness will fix the strain between the two of us, and I think she knows that.

Our students feel the tension amongst us, and that is never what I wanted for them. I wanted an environment that they could thrive in. Not one where they have to worry about a fight between us.

I just wanted to say that I am sorry. And I wish you would come back soon.

Godric

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Evening, September 1, 1013

Salazar,

This is a day that can go down in the history books. Rowena's daughter is finally the age to attend Hogwarts. She is in her mother's house, unsurprisingly. She always did have a craving for knowledge, much like Rowena.

I wish that you could have been there to see the look of pure pride on Rowena's face. There was also sadness in it too, because I think she wished that you were there.

She still blames me, you know? It is not as bad as it was, but I can still feel it. I can still feel her anger toward me. I wonder if that will ever go away. I wonder if she will ever forgive me if you never come back. I do not think she will.

And I have to live with that.

Godric

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Evening, August 10, 1022

Salazar,

Twenty-eight years have passed since our dreams were realized; since we built the place we dreamed of. Nine years have passed since you left. We have done a lot in those nine years. The castle has seen many great witches and wizards. It has even seen Helena through her seven years of schooling.

And now, it sees death.

Helena ran away after she graduated. She ran away with Rowena's diadem, the one that Rowena always prized. She was angrier than I have seen her in years. But she pleaded with a student, called the Baron, that was always after Helena to track her down.

She could not go looking for Helena on her own. She had been trapped in her bed, unable to find the strength to move. When I would visit her, she looked unhappy and her eyes looked betrayed. It is not a look that is new for her. She told me that her heart hurt because of Helena.

I think that her heart was already hurting because of you, and Helena leaving further destroyed it more. When neither Helena nor the Baron returned after six months, Rowena was too weak to continue on. She had been holding on, waiting for her beloved daughter to return. But, much like you, she hasn't.

Rowena…Rowena died. Somehow, I feel some responsibility for it, even though Helga tells me that I had nothing to do with it. Even though she insists on telling me that Rowena died of a broken heart.

Will this guilt ever go away?

Godric

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Evening, March 29, 1034

Salazar,

Hogwarts still thrives despite the loss that it has sustained. First you, then Rowena and now Helga. I always expected Helga to outlive us all. I always expected her to be kind and generous and _alive_.

I did not expect Dragon Pox to ravage her system. I could not even see her in her last days because she forbade me to, knowing that I am not immune to the disease either. She spent her final days alone. She died alone.

Why did I not disregard her wishes and gone to see her? She should not have died alone, and I know that now. It is just another thing to add to my list of regrets.

Godric.

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Morning, July 18, 1064

Salazar,

My days are numbered. I am not foolish enough to think otherwise. I have lived a long, rewarding life. I have achieved the goals that I set for myself.

That does not mean that I die happily. There are too many regrets that weigh my heart down. There are too many things that I would change if I could. You leaving would be one of them, Salazar.

I have spent the last fifty years wondering if I was in the wrong, and I have come to the conclusion that I was. I should not have lost my temper like that. If I did not, maybe we could have come to an agreement about the students coming from Muggle families. But as always, I was rash and bull-headed, and it is still my fault.

I have spent the last fifty years wondering if you would ever come back. You have made it clear that you have no desire for this because you have yet to return. But there is still a part of me that wishes every day for you to come back.

I wonder if you will return when news of my death reaches you. If you do not, I hope that you have a life that is better than mine; one that is not weighed down by guilt.

I hope that you have had the best life that you could have. I truly do. And I really am sorry that we could never see eye to eye. That will always be my greatest regret.

Goodbye, old friend,

Godric

**.**

**A/n – so many thanks to my lovely Allie for beta-ing this for me!**


	2. apologies

For Modwarts. Round: Astronomy (3). Option A, paired with Laura where we had the prompts tears, hat, white flowers, run and hesitation. House: Hufflepuff. Wand: 12 ¾ redwood with ashwinder ash. To the mods, I'd like to have my scores for each category.

Word count: 538

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"_Apologies"_

Parvati makes her way to the dorm, wanting nothing more than to spend time with Lavender. Lately, she's been so busy trying to comfort Padma that she's neglected spending much time with her. She pushes the door open, calling out, "Lav?"

When the door opens all the way, she sees Lavender sitting on her bed, her homework spread out in front of her. Parvati takes a seat next to her and leans over to kiss her cheek. But Lavender moves out of Parvati's reach. "Lavender?" she asks, hesitantly.

Lavender doesn't reply.

"What's wrong?" she tries again. And Lavender still ignores her. Anger courses through Parvati's body, but she tries hard to keep it under her control. Instead, she begs, "Talk to me, please."

At this, Lavender finally turns to face her. There's a range of emotions flickering quickly across her face. It pains Parvati to see Lavender so upset, knowing that she's the cause of it. "Finally decided that you could spare time to spend with me?" she questions, her tone colder than Parvati's ever heard it.

"It's not like that and you know it."

Lavender laughs, but it's not the lighthearted one that she's used to. "Surely seems like it to me," she says bitterly. "You can't seem to find time to be with me. And whenever I try, you always say no, not around Padma."

Parvati shrinks back as if she was slapped. She never wanted to be caught between her girlfriend and her sister. "Padma does need me," she protests. "Dean's on the _run_, for Merlin's sake."

"I know that," Lavender replies. "But that doesn't mean that you have to stop being with me because of it." When Parvati attempts to deny this, Lavender cuts her off. "Whenever we're around Padma, you refuse to hold my hand; you refuse to kiss me. You refuse to act like my girlfriend."

"I'm sorry," Parvati whispers. "But I think it's cruel to flaunt our relationship in front of her. I have you here, while she doesn't have Dean."

Lavender's looks softens as she glances away, but Parvati caught the shimmer of unshed tears in her eyes. "I just want this to be like it was before all this happened. I want to know that you aren't ashamed of this."

There was a reason the Hat didn't put her in Ravenclaw like Padma, she thinks, as she places a hand on Lavender's cheek and forces her to look at her. Her sister would've caught on to this long before it got Lavender this upset.

"You should know by now that I could never be ashamed of you, of this," she assures her. "I love you, Lavender. I really do. But right now, my sister needs me. She needs me to be understanding, and she doesn't need to see us all lovey dovey when she doesn't know where Dean's at."

"Just…spend more time with me," Lavender whispers. "I don't want to feel like you don't want this anymore."

Parvati nods. "Promise," she replies, pressing her lips against Lavender's. When she pulls away, she uses her wand to produce white flowers, a peace offering to give to Lavender.

She takes them with a grin. And Parvati knows that she's been forgiven.

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	3. not a fairytale

For Modwarts. Round 4. Option C with the prompts soft, blink and believe. House: Hufflepuff. Wand: 12 ¾ redwood with ashwinder ash. I would like to have my scores for this round, please.

For Camp Potter: Fireworks – DudleyPiers, week something or another.

For Amber, because she hurts me with her DudleyPiers; it's only fair that I hurt her.

Word count: 989

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This is a story of a boy who hates himself more than anything else because he's in love with another boy.

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It starts off when he's ten. He's smaller than the rest of his class, and sits alone at the lunchroom table, watching enviously as the other children talk to their friends. He's doesn't make friends easily because of his tendency to stumble over his own words. But oh, how he wishes he did because he hates being alone.

He's eating in silence when a group of four boys approach him. The leader, a heavy-set blond haired boy, puts a hand on the back of his head, forcing his face into his lunch as the other three boys laugh. "You really should clean yourself up. You're a messy eater," the leader says.

It's not a particularly harsh taunt, but it causes his blood to boil. Before he realizes what he's doing, he's standing up, his hand balled into a fist.

"Oh, the loner wants to fight," the leader says, turning towards his friends, laughter evident on his face.

He pulls back and punches the blond in the face when he turns back around, surprising him. Shock crosses the blond's face. But before the leader can do anything, he sits back down and resumes his eating. The blond takes a seat next to him.

"You have guts," he says. "Don't let it happen again." The blond sticks out his hand, "Dudley Dursley."

He takes the hand, shaking it. "Piers Polkiss."

And like that, the two of them become the best of friends.

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By the time he's thirteen, his entire world revolves around Dudley. Dudley is the center of Piers' universe. What Dudley says is law, and he would never question it. Who Dudley hates, Piers hates.

If Dudley asks him to jump, he would ask, "How high?"

He would follow Dudley to the end of the world if Dudley asked him. The other boys in Dudley's group joke about his loyalty to Dudley, but Piers just brushes it off, saying that Dudley was his first friend.

.

It isn't until a year later that he realizes why he follows Dudley.

Dudley is sitting beside him, as a group of girls pass by. He smiles. "Damn, aren't they fine?" he asks Piers.

Piers blinks, startled by his question. He glances up from his lap, taking a look at the girls, confused by what Dudley means. The girls could be classified as _pretty_, but they're wearing too much make-up and their clothes aren't covering enough. And he finds that he doesn't like their brown, straight hair; it's nothing compared to the blond locks that Dudley has.

Realizing his thoughts, Piers' heart beats faster. "Um…yeah, they are," he spits out, moments too late. He prays that Dudley doesn't recognize his delay in answering.

When he looks over, he notices that Dudley is too interested in staring at the girls to pay attention to him. He breathes a sigh of relief.

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"Faggot."

Piers breathing hitches and, for a moment, his world stops. Dudley is standing in front of the boy, whose arms are being held by Piers. The boy is openly crying and Piers hates this part. He hates Dudley torturing people, but he helps because Dudley asked and he can never deny him.

Dudley turns to Piers. "Let go of him. You might catch it."

Piers blood runs cold. He knew from the beginning that Dudley didn't like anything that wasn't "normal", but hearing him speak of gayness like it was a disease kills him. But he lets go of the boy obediently, as always, and follows Dudley as he leaves.

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Piers closes his eyes and tries to lose himself in the feel of soft skin and nails scratching his back. The girl, whose name he didn't ask for, moans and scratches and _gets off_, but he can't. He never can.

Because she's not him; but he's trying to fool himself into believing that he likes girls and isn't in love with his best friend.

He doesn't need to be in love with his best friend. He just wants to be normal.

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Dudley leaves, and Piers isn't sure how to live anymore. Dudley was – still is, if Piers is being honest – the center of his universe, the sun he revolves around. Without him, Piers has nothing to gravitate to, no one to impress.

Piers has never clicked with Dudley's other friends, regardless of how much time he spends with them. So without Dudley, Piers finds himself alone. It feels like he's ten again, wishing for a friend.

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Piers tangles his hands in blond hair that isn't the right shade, and presses his lips against the other boy's. It feels all wrong, but not as much as it did when he was with those nameless girls. He can actually find the release that he couldn't before.

The boy – Eric, James, Luke, he doesn't remember – kisses him back.

Piers hates the way that the boy makes him feel. Hates the way that his hair isn't the right shade of blonde. Hates the way that his eyes aren't watery blue. But most of all, Piers hates himself.

He hates that he's not normal.

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By the time that Dudley comes back, Piers already rewrote the center of his universe. A boy with the wrong shade of blond hair and _too_ green eyes is the sun that he revolves around, is the shore his tide comes to.

But his breath still hitches when he sees Dudley and his heart still beats erratically. Somehow, he knows that he'll always love Dudley even if he doesn't want to.

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It isn't quite a fairytale. He may have gotten a happier ending than he expected, but it isn't the ending he wanted. He still hates who he is, but he knows that he can't change it. But he has something worthwhile, and that's enough.

**A/n – so many thanks to Kelly for beta-ing this for me.**


	4. never letting go

For Modwarts. Round 6, option A. House: Hufflepuff. Wand: 12 ¾ redwood with ashwinder ash. I would like to know my scores for this round, please.

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Katie stares into dark eyes, her heart hammering loudly in her chest and her hands sweat. She so badly wants to cross the distance between them and press her lips against the other girl's, but she knows that it could ruin everything, so she doesn't.

Before she can turn away, Leanne kisses her soundly. And the feeling is enough to send Katie soaring.

Leanne's soft lips against hers gets her higher than the adrenalin on game day. All Katie can think of is that she never wants to let Leanne go again.

A/n – so many thanks to Pam and Zoey for looking this over for me.


	5. meaningless words

For Lizy. Darling, 18 is a big deal. I hope that you enjoy adult life. And I hope that you enjoy some Wolfstar.

For Modwarts – prompts used: determined and see. Genre: hurt/comfort. Must repeat one sentence 5 times – "This isn't the way it was supposed to go". House: Hufflepuff. Wand: 12 ¾ redwood with ashwinder ash. Duel color: purple.

For House cup – lyrics – "I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I'm living"; emotion – restless; object – table; color – grey.

Note that this is its own oneshot. I'll delete this chapter once Modwarts is over.

_i_

"This isn't the way it was supposed to go," he says.

You glance up from your homework that he'll surely copy from later. "And how was it supposed to go, then?" you ask. But you already know what he means without him telling you.

He pulls at his not silver-and-green tie as if it personally offended him. He takes off anything with the Gryffindor red-and-gold, leaving him in nothing but a crisp white shirt and black slacks, because if those colors aren't on his body, he can pretend for a little while that he isn't a shame to his family. He can pretend that his family doesn't hate him.

"I don't know," he replies. "Just not like this."

_ii_

"This isn't the way it was supposed to go," he whispers regretfully.

It's not a tone you're used to hearing from him; he's a lot of things, but regretful isn't one of them. It's still not enough to make you open your eyes. Because when you do, you have to face reality.

He still whispers to you, his words echoing in the empty Hospital Wing. "But this is how it went, and I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am."

He betrayed you. He broke his promise to you, and you're not sure if there is any amount of "I'm sorry"s in this world that can fix that. So you keep your eyes closed, trying to figure out a way to forgive the person that means the most to you.

_iii_

"This isn't the way it was supposed to go," he murmurs against your skin.

His arms are wrapped securely around you, and his lips are trailing burning kisses down your neck. And for a while, you forget to breathe, too lost in those feelings.

"I was supposed to be a Slytherin," he says, emphasizing the statement with a kiss. "I was supposed to marry a Pureblood, a woman on top of that."

His words bring you back down to Earth. You push him away, trying to retort. But he leans into your ear and whispers, "But I have you, and it doesn't matter how it was supposed to be."

He presses his lips against yours hard, determined to show you how much you really mean to him.

_iv_

"This isn't the way it was supposed to go," he mutters.

You're laying side by side on the bed in one of James' spare rooms. His bag – that holds everything he owns now – is sitting at the end of the bed. His hands are interlaced with yours.

You squeeze it comfortingly. "I know," you whisper.

The two of you fall into silence, and for once, you don't feel the need to mumble meaningless word to him.

_v_

"This isn't the way it was supposed to go," he growls, pacing back and forth.

His grey eyes are smoldering with anger deep inside. You tap your bed, changing it back from the makeshift table into a bed, and stand up. You grab his shoulders, effectively stopping his restless pacing. "What's wrong?"

"I overheard Snape talking about Regulus," he starts. His fingers twitch as he tries to control the urge to pace again. "He said that Regulus took the Mark."

You release him from your grip, allowing him to move. You know how much this is tearing him up. He was close to his brother growing up, even when they didn't see eye to eye. But their relationship had become very strained when he was placed in red-and-gold instead of green-and-silver. But that didn't stop him from caring about Regulus.

"This wouldn't have happened if I wouldn't have been a coward and left," he whispers.

You shake your head. "You don't know that."

He turns to look at you, and when you do, you see nothing but regrets of what could have been. You cross the room and wrap your arms around him tightly. "This was his choice. He decided to take the Mark. You can't beat yourself up over something he decided to do."

He resigns himself to be held, letting you shield him from the world.

**A/n** **– so many thanks to Pam who beta'd this over Skype chat with me, because she's the bomb. **


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